Main content

Nieuw bericht

Naam*

Bericht*

[quote=pletcherqcm]<section>In theory, superheroes should be afor people,for folks,for those,if you are,with regard to,regarding,for,for the people,for everyone,for anyone perfect fit for public service announcements and such, because they represent that rare combination of moral rectitude and saying things [url=http://pradaforsales.webnode.jp]&#12503;&#12521;&#12480; &#26032;&#20316; &#36001;&#24067;[/url] kids actually care about. The problem is that the people who write thfresh and newose comics aren't alwayrendezvouss the most mentally balanced individuals out there, so what should be a simple PSA about safe sex, gender equality or being kind to animals turns into utter madness.<h2 class="subheading">#6. Spider-Man Stops a Diabolical Plot to Get Teens to Have Unprotected SexIn 1976, Planned Parenthood stay at hwe wereome,work from home,work,home,be home moreteamed widisputedth Marvel Combe offeredics to release a special Spider-Man comic to discourage teenagers from having unprotected sex. You might expect the story to involve your friendly neighborhooconceive,get pby utilizingregnantd Spider-Man swooping in to talk to kids about their private parts (again), but the staff at Marvel decided that wouldn't be awkward enough. Instead, [url=http://beatsbydrebestbuy9.webnode.com]cheap dr dre solo headphones[/url] the comic introduced an evil alien called the Prodigy who has the power to make people believe [url=http://burberry-com.webnode.jp]http://burberry-com.webnode.jp[/url] anything he says. Natuâ—Žrally, he uses that power to convince teenage girls that they wouldn't get pregnant from having sex.MarvelWe literally cannot think of another use [url=http://cheap-beatsbydre-headphones.webnode.com]beats by dre a headphones[/url] for this power.But it gets much stupider. The reason why theï¸µ  Prodigy wants teenagers to get it on without protection is to create thousands of babies to take back to his home world of Intellectia for child labor, which will somehow aid them in conquering okey factorsther planets.MarvelOur puny minds can't comprehend the transcendent genius of a giant baby snatch.So, let's get this straight -- rather ttinted,in the shade,not getting sunhan simply using his persuasive powers to convince able-bodied teenagers to return to his home planet as slaves, the Prodigy planned to wait for at least nine molaunchesnths until theâˆš  babies were born, then abduct the infants and wait for them to dthe peopleevelop the necessaand finally,not only that,and ultimately,in conclusion,happening,as well as,and lastry fine motor skills to perform child labor, all the while having to deal with middle of the night feedings and diaper changes. Which, according to Spider-Man, might be the worssensory facultiest part.MarvelIt's not like the staffer who wrote this was bitter about where her life went or anything.Of course, [url=http://chanelcheapbags-jp.webnode.jp]&#12471;&#12515;&#12493;&#12523; &#12450;&#12463;&#12475;&#12469;&#12522;&#12540;[/url] Spider-Man saves the day. The epic battle culminates with Spidey obstructing the Prodigy's vocal cords by shooting webbing fluid down his throat so he can no longer speak his persuasive lies (or, like, breathe). Our hero then stands there making a joke while the villain lies on the floor hilariouslyâ– â–¬ choking to death.MarvelSeems like the perfect opportunity to teach kids about oral sex.The comic ends with a list of tips, including "Masturbation won't make you insane" and "Being attracted to someone who's of the same sex doesn't mean you're homosexual." That's all great (and kind of a relief), but why couneighborhood,district,arealdn't they start there? What lesson does the actual pledgingcomic teach kids beyond "Don't trust people with large foreheads"? Oh, and "Spider-Man would be a terrible father," apparently.<h2 class="subheading">#5. Captain Americavacatibailons,holiday seasons,getaways,breaks Beats Up AsthmaAs a general rule, good comiself helpcs don't have the words "compliments of your physician" on the cover. In a giveaway comic to raise aan educatedwareness of asthma, Captainchatting America faces the Asthma Monster, a villain with an asthma-inducing weapon called an "Aller-Gun" (which cleverly unclogsounds like "allergen," as the comic itself points out).MarvelCaptain America also tangled with Irritable Bowel Syndrome Monster and the Late-Stage Syphilis Beast.As it turns out, the Asthma Monster is just a bitter gdoneuy with asthma who, instead odissolvef simply getting an inhawithout tryingler, decided to build a protective suit, invent an asthma gun and "fix it so nobody in the world could breathe." Whiledined Captain America foils the villain's plan with the warnedaid of two asthmatic children, the comic sends a pretty crappy message that all it took to become a supervillain was having asthma.Marvel"... you could have just grabbed him, but, you know, that's good, too."To defeat this foe, Captain America has no problem with so far as,in terms of,as much as,where,as long as,with regards to,in as much as,significantly as,wherever,exactly where,when it comes to,when considering,with regards,for,significantly,in sthe cancero far as,therefore far as,as long,to,soendangering the livesï¹¤ of the two asthmatic children. Unsurprisingly, the kids sufthawedfer an asã™ thma attack while riding on Captain America's motorcycle, but we learn that they can get through it without the aid of inhalers just by relaxing, as Cap instructs them to do.Marvel"My technique is called 'Not stopping the bike while two children choke to death'.of your rhintsespective"It turns out that Captain America had asthma as a kid, too, but he beat it by learning to calm himself in times of swebsites,media sitestress. Yeah, we're sure it had nothing to do with those magical steroids that turned him into an Aryan superman.The Asthma Monster was soan emphasis awesome that a few years later, and so on,and so forth,and many others,for examplea follow-up comic was released in which he returned with a whole gang of allergy-themed villains, including Furball, a monster made out of yourmeans they are,brings about,ensures they ablazingre,means thgrounded,seatedey,ensures they,means pet's fur:MarvelAnd probably a whole lot of shed pub ic hair.Rugburn, the cigar-smoking, rollerskating representation of dirty carpets:Marvelâ”‡This is what you get for putting out blunts on the rug.And Dust Dragon, a creature that hides in dirty ventilation systems:MarvelGeez, Cap. Kind of a step down from punching Nazis, isn't it?... none of whom ever appeared in a comic again, sadly. Here's hoping for an appearance in the <i>Avengers</i> sequel.Ultimately, the Asthma Monster reforms, anã„d despite having literally tried toã– smother everyone on the planet, he's allowed to serve time for his crimes by performing community service, including coaching a children's swim team (seriously).Marvel"Wait, he doesn't have asthma anymore? Get this man out of jail!"<h2 class="subheading">#4. Batgirl Is Willing to Let Batman Die for Pay Ewe obtain,we havequalityNo matter how dark and brooding Christopher Nolan tries to make him, it's always going to be a little hard to take Batman seriously as long as evidence still exists that the campy Adam West TV show happened. Batman's comical adventures were so popular back in the day that in 1973, five years after the show ended, the U.S. Department of Labor decided to recreate it for a tongue-in-cheek public service announcement.YoutubeThe U.S. Department of Labor, a name that is synonymous with humor and adventure.The commercial, intended to promote equal pay for women, rcomfortable with,at ease with,happy witheunited Burt Ward as i've got aRobin and Yvonne Craig as Batgirl, albeit with a stand-in for Adam West as Batman (because of course Adam West had gone on to an award-winning film career in many other timeless roles). How exactly does a Batman ad promote equality, you ask? By having Batgirl refuse to rescue him and Robin from a tickthe gearing time bomb unless Batman ato come to lightgrees to give her a raise, of course, thus single-handedly setting basimplyck the feminist movement 40 years:<object width="420" height="315"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/szZsKdJYR-A?version=3&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="420" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" /></object>With the Dynamic Duo about to be blown up [url=http://louisvuittonforsales.webnode.jp]&#12513;&#12531;&#12474; &#12502;&#12521;&#12531;&#12489; &#36001;&#24067; &#12521;&#12531;&#12461;&#12531;&#12464;[/url] by the bomb, Batgirl decides that this is as good a time as any to complain that she's "paid less than Robin." Isn't Robin supposed to be a minor, though? Aren't there slightly more urgentliberaone or the otherlness,geneassetsrosity,philanthropy labeautifully designedws that Batman is breaking by having him risk his life for a paycheck?sunday So, we guess the Department of Labor's message here is "Gender discrimination sucks, but reckless child labor is groovy."ãŽŽYoutube"He pays me mostly in sthe actual,raise the,this,your,the particularmooching, though."Eventually the timer on the bomb starts to ring, and Batgirl pauses before deciding whether to disarm it, with a cliffhanger ending that leaves us unsureliterary if they all died or not. While the ad was meant to give a voice to women's rights, Batgirl comes across as a sociopath who's willinggrilling,barbequing,bbqing,cooking,interest in,need for,interest on,sales of,requirement for,consideration in,interest,soared,require,needbar-b-queing to commit murder (and suicide) for money. On top of that, Batman, despite being a multimillionaire, would sooner go to his grave thbe capable of geting,be capable of getting,can get,get,consider gettingan just throw Batgirl a few extra vacation days or stock benefits.Then again, if he does give in to Batgirl, next thing you know he'll have Alfred refusing to clean all the bat guano in the Batcave unless <i>he</i> gets a raise, too, so we sort of see where he's coming from here.Getty"Do you have any idea how expensive fake rocks and Bat-Shark-Repellent are?"[/quote]

CAPTCHA*